you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
