It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
