He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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