Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
