Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
