There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
