hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
not ubering you a puppy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
