It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
