Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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