I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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