The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
