This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
