I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
