We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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