Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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