What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
