She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
