just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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