Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
