His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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