Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
