her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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