she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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