i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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