He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
