By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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