Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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