sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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