you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
