So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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