Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
