It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
