just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she pinky promised me she was 18
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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