if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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