You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
