Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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