Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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