lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
