dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
