Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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