exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
