Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize