you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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