She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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