DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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