i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
