No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
