the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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