I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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