So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You're like the curious george of whores
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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