when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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